a new beginning...

Thursday, September 23, 2010

It's been a while

I feel like Pedro from Napolean Dynomite...I don't have much to say. No shit, if I did you'd have seen a post since March.

I've simply been dealing with life on life's terms.

Pop died in February...I wrote about that already. Sadly, and in a cruel twist of fate, my father died in May, less than 90 days later.

Still trying to make sense of it all.

I decided to quit drinking on July 13th. Alcohol began taking me to bad places. To be honest, life for me is better without it. Hard to explain so I wont try - for me I'm finding out it's the right way to live.

Been peeping at some FAT blogs. Glad there are a few of the old guard still chiming in. Good to see new "faces" too. A fresh perspective always helps. Lord knows I need one these days.

Back at gym, following TT beginner program. 3 weeks into a 4 week cycle. Need to take it easy, had rotator cuff surgery in April. Coming along but don't want any setbacks.

October 1st is around the corner. I promised myself I'd set 30-60-90 day goals to round out the year on a high note.

Take care. I'll be back...

Monday, March 1, 2010

And so it begins...again

Doesn't it suck to write this statement? It's as if admitting failure. Look, I tried before. I messed up. I didn't reach my goals - heck I didn't even write and review my goals. So here I am back up in weight. Unhappy with my lack of progress. Even more unhappy with my lack of activity.

Now maybe I should get a pass because of what I've been through.

I got sick last fall - REALLY SICK - like I almost died. I developed a staph infection post vasectomy (yup - no more kids for me) and not just any staph infection but MRSA. It's like super-staph. I wound up in the hospital for 10 days. Over the course of 30 days I endured 5 surgeries. I was miserable. Scratch that - I was FUCKING miserable. I had a pump attached to my groin to draw out the infection. I couldn't write about it then - luckily I'm alive to write about it now.

I thought I turned a corner in January. New Years Resolutions - blah blah blah. I got back to the gym but never quite got the nutrition under control. Nor the alcohol consumption.

This has been a brutal winter in the North East. One day while shoveling snow I re-aggravated a tear in my rotator cuff. That's a pretty painful injury - not nearly as painful as what I endured back in the Fall (that pain was on par with childbirth - I kid you not) - that has set me back.

The worst part has been the death of my Grandfather. Pop died on Valentines Day. I got a call from the nursing home and they said he went peacefully. At 98 that's what we hope for, however it doesn’t change that fact that I miss him terribly and his passing has created a void in my life that may never be filled. To me he was more like a father than a Grandfather. I have been blessed to have 3 out of 4 Grandparents with me well into my adult life. If you're reading this I can only hope the same for you all. They offer insight, caring, kindness and compassion unlike the dynamics of any other relationship. At least it felt that way for me.

So where am I at?

1. I have 3 beautiful children. 2 of them love to play outdoors. Matthew, at 7 months, isn't far behind. I struggled through the pain of my shoulder to take them sledding for the past 3 days (we got 18+ inches of snow last week). I just got off the phone with my Orthopedist and I'm getting a copy of the RX for P/T. I'll have to go on my lunch hour since it's just not convenient to go at night. As a NY/NJ commuter I'm already gone 10+ hours a day. When is anything ever convenient?

2. My wife and I pledged to "Get it together...together". We got rid of all the shitty food in the house. I went back to the gym this morning and I hit the grocery store afterwards, stocking up on fresh fruit and produce. All the stuff that we should be eating but just haven't been.

3. I deal with losing Pop on a daily basis. They say death is only sad for the living. Truer words were never spoken. It's not all about sadness - many of the memories are of incredibly happy times. Time will heal the pain I guess. That's up for time to decide.

New day, new month, new opportunity.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain